RELAPSED!!!!!!

Why do I keep relapsing?  I know the answer, it's because I'm not "spiritually fit".  I remember how that felt, I was clean and sober for years, but I can't seem to get it back.  Unfortunately my life is upside down, and I'm not in the same position I was when I first quit doing drugs.  I relapsed because I got carried away with the pain pills prescribed to me for back pain.  I knew better!  We all know Better!  I've got every excuse in the world, pain being the first, but I'm simply not capable of taking my meds right!  I'm a dope fiend, and seems like I always will be.  Even when I know it means I'll run out before it's time for a refill, I still mess up.  Eventually I'll learn from my mistakes, and take my own advice.  Advice I wrote while I was still sober.  I think I'll go back and read it again.  Maybe it will help you too.  Good luck.

And this is the life of a drug addict!  Like many of you, I am beating myself up AGAIN!  We have to stop, and get on with the process of living, and that begins with getting off drugs, so that's the plan, hopefully, I'll still feel this way when I'm withdrawing, who know, but I know I can do it, I've done it plenty of times before, but this time, it might just stick.  After being sober for so many years, and then looking at myself, and track marks and abscesses, I wonder why I keep doing this to myself, we all know why, I'm a drug addict! I forgot that, I thought I since I was sober so long, that it no longer applied. Well, that lesson has been learned, now, it's time to start again.